The TAN that nearly took my life

I want to take you back to my late teens. Like so many teenagers, I struggled with acne—terrible acne. I was fortunate that the acne decided to hit me when I left school. Otherwise I would have been bullied and possibly chucked out of school for not holding my patience.

The acne was the kind that made me avoid mirrors, dodge photos, and feel like my face was the first thing people judged me on, my friends used to call me superted (spottyman), and although I laughed it off, it rocked my confidence.

If i chatted to girls I had no confidence at all, even if they appeared to like me I presumed they felt sorry for me.

I tried everything—creams, medications, skincare routines that promised miracles. But nothing gave me the confidence I was so desperate for.

Then, I found sunbeds.

I still remember that first session. Lying there, feeling the warmth, imagining how a tan would smooth out my skin, how I’d finally feel good about myself. And you know what? It worked.

My skin looked better, my confidence grew, and I felt happy in my own skin for the first time in years. Sunbeds became my little secret weapon, my fix.

But here’s the thing about quick fixes… sometimes, they come with a price. Years later, I heard the words that changed everything: “You have melanoma. Stage 4.” Skin cancer.

The most aggressive kind. It had spread to my brain, my lungs, my liver. It wasn’t just a small patch of skin that needed removing—it was a fight for my life.

And in that moment, I thought back to my teenage self. The lad who just wanted to feel confident, who wanted clear skin and confidence.
I wish I could have told him: you’re enough exactly as you are.Confidence doesn’t come from a tan, a skin treatment, or looking a certain way to fit in.

Real confidence is knowing that who you are, beyond your reflection, is what matters most.

I had to fight harder than I ever imagined to still be standing here today. I had to rebuild my body, my strength, my life.

And I can tell you now: I am more confident today—with my scars, with my experience, with everything I’ve been through—than I ever was chasing that perfect image in my teens.

If you’re struggling with self-esteem, if you’ve ever thought you needed to change your appearance to feel worthy, hear this: You are already enough.

Looking back, I don’t blame my younger self. I understand him. But I also know now that real confidence isn’t about what’s on the outside—it’s about the strength inside you.

And if I can leave you with one thing today, it’s this: Take care of yourself. Make choices with love for your body, not pressure to fit a certain image.

The TAN that nearly took my life

I want to take you back to my late teens. Like so many teenagers, I struggled with acne—terrible acne. I was fortunate that the acne decided to hit me when I left school. Otherwise I would have been bullied and possibly chucked out of school for not holding my patience.

Then, I found sunbeds.

And remember—confidence isn’t in the glow of a tan. It’s in the light you carry inside you.

And remember—confidence isn’t in the glow of a tan.
It’s in the light you carry inside you.